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This isn’t a game. It’s a vertical meltdown disguised as one. Climb as a gripless goblin in the most unforgiving platformer of the decade.
Price history tracked since Jul 7, 2026 · vs all tracked offers.
Based solely on tracked price history — not purchase advice.
Tracked since Jul 7, 2026.
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The Goblin Game is an unforgiving rage-platformer where your only goal is to go up, and the world wants nothing more than to drag you back down.
Play as a miserable goblin scaling the cursed cave system known as The Crag. There are no checkpoints and no safety nets. Every jump matters. Every fall is punishment. Progress is a test of patience, precision, and sheer stubbornness.
If you fall, you start again.
If you scream, you’re doing it right.
Two Playable Goblins
Choose between Fritz the Fizzlewump, nimble, twitchy, and barely competent, or Blort the Bloat, a lumbering abomination who turns basic locomotion into an act of war against common sense. Controlling Blort feels like steering a fridge full of soup off a cliff. Every jump is an argument. Every landing is a miracle. He doesn't move. He collides with the concept of movement.
Handcrafted Vertical Level Design
Climb through a single-shot, hand-sculpted nightmare full of precarious ledges, rickety goblin bridges, and physics-defying rocks. No loading zones. Just one continuous climb. One slip and it's a long way down.
Brutal, No-Mercy Philosophy
There are no saves. No midpoints. Every mistake has consequences. Every fall is final. It’s not just a challenge, it’s a gauntlet of suffering disguised as a game. You’ve been warned.
